I've almost finished all the illustrations for the sale. I have one more to do and then they will be sent off for printing. Now I thought I’d tell you a bit about myself as an artist, what is behind these strange creatures and where they descend from.
I've been down many different paths of art throughout my life to say the least. I've gone from nature and bird paintings to tattoos, from digital painting to traditional illustration. And I will probably head down many more before my life on this earth ends.
Finding myself as an artist has been a roller coaster ride. And even though I take allot of pride in being an artist, I have always found it very hard to be judged by others. Don't get me wrong, I love all the feedback I can get and it makes me grow both as a person and as an artist. But since my art is so dear to me and something I don't necessarily do for profit, but for myself and myself only. It is my therapy and it is hard to have it judged by others because it is my saviour in many ways. In my drawings you can see the essence of me, the essence of Emelie and I guess the somewhat escapist that I am.
It is hard for me to write about my art and it triggers many emotions doing so. But I think it is something I have to share now that I have finally decided to sell my art. To think that any of you out there would like to own a piece of me is hard for me to comprehend. This is why I am sharing my deepest thoughts with you so you know what it is you buy if you decide to become the owner of one of my pieces. And it is important that you know the depth behind these creatures.
Anyway, back to me, being an escapist. I truly am an escapist and I think I always have been. I am scared of many things in this world. Scared of the dark, scared of death, scared of being left alone and so on. Fears that I know I'm not the only one to have, but they effect me every day, in ways that they shouldn't. My way of dealing with these fears is to escape to my own made up world where these things just don't exist.
My fears got worse as I moved to the UK six years ago. Let's just say that Sweden is a pretty safe and quiet place compared to the UK. But I think I needed it. During the first year I spent in UK I barely left the house. I was afraid that someone would just stab me in the street and became extremely paranoid. I had to stop watching the news and reading the news papers as it just ruined me. UK has hardened me in a great way and I am nowhere near as scared as I used to be now. I still struggle going on walks on my own but I think this is down to me being a mother now and me feeling very protective over my baby. I am sure it will go away eventually.
So the drawings you see are part of my inner essence and the creatures in my drawings help me to stay sane. Even though some of them might look quite insane haha. But these creatures help me through life and fantasizing about them is my escape. I need them just as much as they need me and without them I would be lost. I guess you can see them as my therapists.
I have now decided to sell my art for the first time in my life and I am so scared. I am scared that no one will like what I do, I'm scared that no one will feel inspired and most of all that no one will see the beauty that I see in these creatures. I'm scared that no one will understand them. Just as I am scared that no one will understand me, maybe I am scared that they will be left alone as I am scared of being alone. I don't know, but my decision makes me feel strong and proud, and whatever happens, I will remain strong and proud for the fact that I dared. And that is the end of that.
So here's to the future of not being scared. I want to share my inner being with the world and by doing so, grow as a person and an artist. I hope me sharing all this won't put you off my illustrations. I hope it will give them more depth and meaning. And also thank you for reading this far.